The "need" to be perfect

Recently everybody is trying to look their best, do their best, simply be the best in every single area. However it is not possible for someone to be perfect at everything.

Media has a big role in this of course. The perfect body image that has been imposed on all of us seems to make us uncomfortable with our selves. Especially for women it is more severe than it is for men. Women feel that they need to be pretty to be something. That is not the case but still we feel that way. It is as if it has been expected from us. For men it is more like being "successful". However that "success" is not a easy thing to achieve because the perceived sense of "success" is being the best. Small successes aren't enough for anybody.

This perception shapes our world. Women can't stand looking at themselves because they think they do not look good enough. Lips, nose, boobs... They all "need" to be perfect in order to be considered beautiful.

It seems that women are almost racing for being the hottest. Being hot and being desired by men seem to be crucial for being liked.

On the other hand, men are trying to be the most powerful and because money is seen as the source of power they are competing on being the richest.

Having good manners or intellectuality don't mean a thing in pop culture. Many people get lost in this insane world. They lose their values and after doing such stupid things to get ahead they realize that it didn't mean a thing.

In most cases that realization happens to be too late for some things. However there is still a chance for all of us to make peace with ourselves through understanding this nonsense imposition.

We can forgive ourselves and move on.
We can accept ourselves just the way we are.
And we can transform ourselves into something meaningful, something natural.

I hope we can all have peace with ourselves and with others.

and yes, I know what I am talking about and I know how hard it is. Still there is hope for us to use our inner strength and get over all.

Peace on you!

Cognitive therapy: Pros and Cons

I love cognitive therapy for some reasons. The most basic reason is that it works at the level of cognition first. I think cognitive level is the one that therapists should work on because it is so rational that our thoughts affect our behaviours through affecting our feelings. This is the main reasoning in cognitive therapy indeed.

So as Aaron Beck stated it first: our thoughts affect our feelings and they determine how we behave.

It may sound a little too simple and obvious at first but the truth is sometimes very simple. Automatic thoughts are unavoidable but not unchangeable. They can be altered through working on the core beliefs. This all sound very rational too me.

Also I like it being to the point. If you have a specific problem (like a specific phobia) it does wonders in reasonable time.

Of course it has some aspects I do not like much. It is too strict in theory and needs to be balanced in that way with a flexible attitude of the therapist.

I believe cognitive therapy is very powerful for specific problems but it would be better if used in an eclectic approach in some cases. Many people are suffering from specific things like having panic attacks or having a some kind of phobia. Cognitive therapy is just the right choice for those.

However, there are many people who wants to be in therapy because they want to know more of themselves without having a specific problem to be dealt with. At that point cognitive therapy isn't enough by itself. Therefore, I plan to use it with another type of therapy which is called Existential Therapy.
God only knows what will happen in the future but this is the plan for now. :)

Peace...

Welcoming Ali Mert

I'm a fresh auntie. My nephew Ali Mert has just born at the end of January. As a young auntie I can't compare being a mom and being an aunt but I can talk about being an aunt.

It's like a rehearsal of being a mother and it's much better because I don't have to feed him and don't have to nurture him. Just loving him is enough for being a good aunt. That's a bliss. :)

Babies are too cute that you cannot hate them when you get real close. They may sound annoying from a distance but when you smell that baby smell it changes everything. I used to hate children and then it changed a bit with the projects and work that I've done. However, now I just can't get enough of my nephew. I think that's because this is the first time I've been this close to a baby for so long. His skin, his smell, his voice... all that make him irresistable! :)

The picture above depicts fresh out of the womb feet. :)

Love xxx